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TAOISM: Shit happens

HARE KRISHNA: Shit happens, Rama Rama ding ding

ISLAM: If shit happens, take a hostage

ZEN: What is the sound of shit happening?

ATEISM: No shit

BUDDHISM: When shit happens is it really shit?

CONFUCISM: Confucius says: Shit happens

7:th DAY ADVENTIST: Shit happens on saturdays

PROTESTANISM: Shit won´t happen if I Work harder

CATOLICISM: If shit happens I deserv it

JEHOVA`S  WITNESS: Knock knock shit happens

UNITARIAN: What is this shit?

MORMON: Shit happens again and again and again

JUDAISM: Why does this shit always happens to me?

RASTAFARIANISM: Let´s smoke this shit!